When Saving Becomes a Habit You Can’t Turn Off | Root Talks

Some retirees have more money than they ever imagined… and still feel guilty buying the $5 M&Ms.

This episode is for the lifelong savers who nailed the retirement planning side—maxed out accounts, invested consistently, hit their “number”—but feel stuck when it’s time to actually spend. James and Ari share real client stories of multimillionaires who still walk past convenience to save a few dollars, not because they need to… but because the “always save” habit is so deeply wired in.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why it’s so hard to shift from accumulator to spender
• How a scarcity mindset can follow you into a very comfortable retirement
• The “M&M moment” that exposed just how powerful old money habits can be
• Simple ways to practice guilt-free, intentional spending that aligns with your values

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Is it really okay to spend this in retirement?” this conversation will help you see your money as a tool for memories, not just a balance sheet number.

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Advisory services are offered through Root Financial Partners, LLC, an SEC-registered investment adviser. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered personalized investment, tax, or legal advice. Viewing this content does not create an advisory relationship. We do not provide tax preparation or legal services. Always consult an investment, tax or legal professional regarding your specific situation.

The strategies, case studies, and examples discussed may not be suitable for everyone. They are hypothetical and for illustrative and educational purposes only. They do not reflect actual client results and are not guarantees of future performance. All investments involve risk, including the potential loss of principal.

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Participation in the Retirement Planning Academy or Early Retirement Academy does not create an advisory relationship with Root Financial. These programs are educational in nature and are not a substitute for personalized financial advice. Advisory services are offered only under a written agreement with Root Financial.

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Ari Taublieb, CFP ®, MBA is the Chief Growth Officer of Root Financial Partners and a Fiduciary Financial Planner specializing in helping clients retire early with confidence.

Chapters

• 0:00 Three Million And Still Unhappy
• 2:45 Scarcity Habits That Never Turn Off
• 6:20 Projections Say Yes, Mindset Says No
• 9:50 The Five Dollar M&Ms Moment
• 13:20 Final Thoughts and Disclaimer

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

If I give you three million dollars right now, would you be upset? Of course not. Do you think many people would be upset? I hope not. I would hope not as well. But one thing that happened is I asked a woman, hey, tell me about your retirement. And she said she's really upset. She had three million dollars. I said, Well, that's interesting because there's a lot of people I know who would love to have three million dollars. And I just want to learn more about that. And she said, You just don't get it. I said, That's correct. Do you mind sharing? And she shared, well, I no longer have the ability to travel to the degree I want because my health isn't in a great position. I said, Okay. So why don't I'm thinking in my head, why don't you fly a first class then? You have saved well. She goes, Yeah, you're missing the point. If I had$2 million, I could have done everything I wanted in retirement. And so I'm trying to connect the dots. I'm a younger advisor at this point, still going, okay, well, she has 3 million. I know she says 2 million is okay. What am I missing? And she said, I just worked the last five years and markets did well. So my 2 million became 3 million. And I was sitting the entire time. And I want to be able to hike and travel. And I remember her telling me about her big goals and how now she's just not able to do them. And it really struck me as here's someone who saved and invested well, arguably too well, who now cannot do all the things she wanted to do, even though financially she's in a good position. So what we're talking about today is how do we switch that mindset from being a saver to a spender? And how do we think about maybe the efficient time to do so?

SPEAKER_01: 1:32

Yeah, there's nothing that's, I shouldn't say there's nothing set out of it. There's many things had it, but there is something you meet these clients, you meet with these people. They've saved a tremendous amount of money over the course of their lifetime, but their lives from the outside look like they have no money. And it's not necessarily a deliberate choice, it's just this uh scarcity mindset sometimes of these people that have saved so much, they've done so by saying no to the things they've actually wanted to do along the way. And there's varying degrees of how extreme this shows up in people's lives. I would say for most people, it's not that extreme. I remember I have some great uncles. I've only heard stories of them, I never actually met them, but the the types of people that take napkins home from restaurants because that was a napkin they could then use at home. And like their whole house was just these knickknacks of random things. They thought, oh, we can if we only have to use half the napkin, we can take the other half and we can save it for a rainy. And they end up passing with a lot of money, but their lives, they never did anything with them. I shouldn't say anything. They didn't do anything from the standpoint of what we can actually do to pursue what's important to us, to have fun, to pursue adventure, to pursue meaning and purpose and all the things that are actually worthwhile to do. And I think too often for people, there's a sense that money becomes the goal, the accumulation of money becomes the goal. And at some point, we're going to magically hit this point where everything feels more comfortable and easier, and we've arrived. I think at a certain point you start to realize this arrival fallacy. You never actually arrive anywhere. You never actually feel any different anywhere. So it's about how do you start developing the right habits, developing the right rhythms to do the things you want to do now? How do you make sure that whatever your mindset is and your actions are, like they're they're bringing you closer to where you want to be? And where this really hit me first, I remember I was meeting with a couple of clients who are wonderful people. They had done well, both have built and sold businesses, and they had quite a bit of money. And they had just recently retired and we were going through some projections. And they said, Yeah, we'd love to be able to do this, and we'd love to be able to do that, and we'd um ideally like to be able to spend this on a monthly basis and then this for trips and all this stuff. And we said, Great, great, great, ran the projections. And what we actually saw is not only could they do all that, but they were projected to have uh not even a fortune left over at the end of their lifetime, simply because uh even after all that, after all the spending that they're projected to do, like the their portfolio is going to outpace their spending. And so they saw that, and it was like uh a complete revelation of them, oh my goodness, we can actually go spend more than we were thinking we could. We can actually do more than what we had ever imagined. And and the feedback was yes, absolutely, and it was exciting, and we wrapped up the meeting and we thought the job done, they feel permission to spend, they can go ahead and do it. They happened to be vacationing in San Diego, I think it was like a couple weeks after, not too long after, and we got together for lunch. And we were getting together for lunch, and they said, you know, Jimmy, we just had that meeting where you closed by telling us go do whatever you want to do. You know, these trips that you want to take, these things you want to do, permission to do all of them. You have the portfolio the means to do it. In fact, please go spend it because you you're in a position where it can be fully supported. They told me that they said, Well, the the the first night we were on vacation, we got back to our room, we got back to our hotel room, and we just had dinner, and the husband is like, I kind of want like a little bit of a sweet, I want something. And so I went to the hotel mini bar and there's MMs there. And I grabbed that bag of MMs because that felt like the craving that I wanted, you know, it was perfect for that. And as I pull it up, I see on a little menu there MMs five dollars. And I thought to myself, that's crazy for the bag of MMs. He thought this to himself, that's crazy the bag of MMs cost five dollars. Um I'm gonna put this down, I'm gonna walk however many blocks it is to a 7-Eleven and get a bag of MMs for$50 instead. And he did that, and he came back to me and he's like, it's something like why on earth after you had literally just finished telling us we could do so much more with our money, could I not bring myself to spend an extra few bucks for a bag of MMs? And you can argue, well, cool, you got to go on a walk and get the MMs, he's not a sucker, he's gonna, he's not gonna over you can make whatever argument you want. I'm not saying he should have or shouldn't have, but as much as if that would have been more convenient, if that would have been more time that he could have spent there, if that would have why not? What is that mental blocker that prevents us from being able to actually use what we've worked for to do whatever we want, whether that's convenience, whether that's travel, whether that's giving, like whatever's actually most important to us. It was this interesting uh story that really clicked for them and really clicked for me that no amount of money automatically changes your mindset and makes you a different person. And yes, we need to work to get to that position. I wanted to make that message loud and clear. If you're don't have any savings, this the mess this message isn't for you. The message of yeah, learn how to go spent. You probably're you're probably fine there. This is the message for people that have prioritized savings, prioritized investments to the nth degree, and now have trouble getting themselves to spend, there's a psychological shift that happens there. And that's a big part of what we see and work with clients that uh a good retirement plan is really built upon is learning to exercise that new muscle of spending the money, not just spending it frivolously, not just spending in a wasteful way. Don't no one wants to be that sucker that just spends money to spend money. But if you can spend money because in some ways it adds to your quality of life, it's not going to go with you when you're gone. So let's make sure we're using it for something good while we're here.

SPEAKER_00: 7:27

So powerful. And James, I very rarely disagree with you, but I remember being in a client meeting and you had shared something that made me go, maybe this guy's just not as smart as I thought he was. Now I knew you very well at this point, but you had said, I want you to focus on your health. So I go, okay, James wants the clients to focus on their health and buy MMs. And I went, look, I'm not some nutritionist, but those don't add up. And then you went on to share this story and how they saved well and they could buy the MMs. And at the end of that meeting, they went, okay, I got it. So I can buy the MMs, and if I don't, I'm still gonna be okay. And really, no matter what I do, I'm gonna be okay. But wow, I have the ability to do so. And what was so powerful in this meeting, and I have a story as well to share on this that really made me go, wow, here's how we help our clients do this is in your Root Ready podcast, where it's designed for advisors. I know there are root clients that listen and potential clients that listen, you share how do you be the best advisor. And you once told me, and you said it very nicely, you said, Hey, Ari, the most powerful thing an advisor can do is listen and know when to shut up. And there was a meeting I had with a client, and I had shared similar feedback. You're in a good financial position. And by the way, everyone listening, James and I both recognize if you are a great spender, you're probably a key word there, probably not in a great position to retire early because you're great at spending. Maybe you are, have a great balance, and you're one of the few. But we recognize you cutting the coupons and being a great saver has got you to this position where you can retire. We don't want you to be an overspender. We want you to be a successful spender. So I'm in the meeting with this client and they said, and I quote, How on earth could I look at life from the position of no matter what I do, pretty much I'll be okay. And that was the truth. If they didn't buy a private jet, you know, that would throw off their retirement plans. But outside of that, they had saved and invested so well and they just did not expect their business to do what it did. So I said, What would you do if I forced you to spend X number of dollars? And they just kept saying, I don't know. It was almost like it was an overwhelming question. Almost like it would have been easier for them to go back to work instead of answer the question I just asked them. And I said, Okay, then we're gonna sit in silence until you come up with something. This is your time to think and it's not pressuring. I'll sit here for an hour. Um, and I remember they finally said, you know, I don't know if this is the answer you're looking for. And I paused them, I said, I'm not looking for any answer, but I do want to make sure you're not mad at me later in life when you have plenty of money wishing you did more. And they said, I remember when I was in my 20s and someone bought groceries for me. And that just meant the world to me at that time. And so I would buy the person's groceries behind me. That's what I would do if I had all the money. And I said, Well, how amazing. And they said, Oh, yeah, but now that's making me think maybe I would do some other charitable things. So it finally got them thinking. And it took me understanding when to shut up and be silent and give someone the space to really explore this, which you talk about often in the Root Ready podcast. And so I think it's important for everyone to recognize you don't have to have it all figured out. And if you are a good saver and now you're in a position to retire, we'll often use the MM analogy and we'll use the light switch. If you're retiring and now you're going, okay, I know I need to spend more, you're not, I don't need you to think about it like, well, I'm gonna flip a switch and now I'm a great spender. It's more of like a dimmer. It's gonna take some time to get used to spending more, and we'll encourage someone not to send for the sake of spending, but exercises and strategies there. So I think that MM analogy is powerful. And I remember seeing the client and thinking to myself, well, James just told them to focus on their health and eat MM. So what the heck is this guy about to say?

SPEAKER_01: 11:13

The the metaphorical MM. You said two things that I'm gonna reinforce. One is you, I think you said joking that's the this client had a hard time thinking if they're what am I gonna spend, it would actually be easier for them to go back to work than it would be to spend. That's that's not exaggeration. Like that's true. I think for so many people, this saving and investing and working that gets hard at the beginning. But once you have once you're in that habit, once you're in that routine, once you've learned that skill set, that's kind of easy. The harder thing is not spending on what you want, it's even knowing what you want in the first place. So the second thing you said of yeah, sometimes we as advisors just need to shut up and let people kind of come to these realizations themselves. This is an exercise anyone can do right now. Is if you have no idea what you want to do in retirement, turn this podcast off right now, grab a piece of paper, and just write. Let thoughts bubble up. It's not going to come to you right away. We live in such a dizzy, distracted world. If you see everyone else's goals, you see these commercials, people are traveling in retirement, they're walking their dog through the woods in retirement, they're sitting on these uh Adirandu chairs, like whatever. That's not your goal. You've been messaged that so many times, but actually, what do you want? Is it buying groceries for the person behind you at Trader Joe's? Is it taking your whole family on a trip to the special place you've always wanted to go to? I mean, just sit and be quiet with your thoughts and think through. And this isn't even a retirement exercise. This is a life exercise. How do you live a good retirement? Well, you live a good life. So, like, let's bypass the retirement piece. There's the financial components of retirement planning that are needed to support that. But what do you want your life to look like? The hard part isn't spending the money, it's knowing what you want to spend the money on. And so that's a creative muscle that needs to be exercised. That's a identity muscle that needs to be exercised of what do I actually want to do? And just think through if I was gone today, if I were to pass away today, what are the things I would regret not doing? Something might not come up right away, but if I spend enough time just staring at a piece of paper and writing it down, I promise you, it's probably gonna be something related to time with family, time with loved ones, time doing things that you didn't make the time to do. Like, what are those things? And then how can our retirement strategy become don't regret those things, don't regret not doing those things. How do we spend our money in such a way to do that? So I think that that is something that everyone can learn from is the the shut up piece, not just for advisors, but as people, what can we do to really understand where we want to go uh so we can start to develop the habits to get there?

SPEAKER_00: 13:50

I pay a lot of money to go to physical therapy, and this is something that I talk about frequently. I love playing soccer. I go to a physical therapy office called Myodox, and their slogan is future-proof your body. And when you go there, they go, we do holistic physical therapy, we look at your whole body, and the first thing they say is our job is to get you out of here as quick as possible. I hope all of you guys like our content. I hope you resonate with it. But if you're writing down on that piece of paper, you've got James in your head going, okay, I'm gonna leave this piece of paper once I've got a few ideas. I bet watching root financial YouTube content is probably not at the top of the list. Now, I hope you enjoy our content once again, but our goal, as I see it, is to make it so you're living your best retirement. If that's scuba diving or traveling or doing whatever it is you want to do, that's awesome. I hope we give you the confidence and tools to make that the reality. But similar to my physical therapy office, they don't want me to come all the time. They want me to go to play soccer and do what I want to do. That's how we view it. So that's what we've got for this episode. Just a few stories that hopefully give you something to think about. Anything else you want to add, James? No, I think that's it. Thanks, Harry. Awesome. So, as always, guys, these podcasts drop bi-weekly on iTunes, Spotify, Google, wherever you listen to your podcasts. They're also on YouTube. So if you want to actually see us talk and interact, you can watch on Root Financial YouTube channel. On this channel, you can meet our advisors. You can see all sorts of content, and you might just find one advisor, one piece of content that really resonates with you. So if that's the case, please do comment below. We make all of our topics based off what you share below. So you can go ahead and drop a comment on YouTube, and we will look to address that in a future episode. That was a mouthful. You can see James's content on YouTube, my content on YouTube, and we will see you.